By Eduardo Maisonet, III / @edthesportsfan

For FOX Deportes

The matchups have been set in the semifinal round of Euro 2012 and if you picked Germany, Italy, Spain and Portugal in your bracket, then I’ve got a bag full of $20’s here for you. Okay, I lied. While three of the four teams were popular picks of getting the the semifinal stage, seeing Portugal here seems as unfamiliar as it does seem right on time. This current cast of characters haven’t had as much success as their predecessors, but their ultimate test lays in front of them with Spain. Spain, being the defending European Cup champs, come in undefeated and laying waste to all comers thus far in the tournament. If Portugal are to win on Wednesday, they’ll need a heroic effort from a player most likely to succeed, or the player most likely to…

The Player Most Likely To Do Stepovers In Front Of Your Girl, Cristiano Ronaldo: Ronaldo seems like the type that if he saw your woman, and coveted her, he would try to do things to try and impress her. Personally, I’d envision him pulling out a soccer ball and doing stepovers in front of your chick. It would mesmerize her, make her hesitate, and in a moment’s notice your woman would be gone forever.

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By Eduardo Maisonet, III / @edthesportsfan

For FOX Deportes

A hot goalie can ruin any hopes, dreams and ambitions your favorite football team might have ever had in matriculating to their ultimate prize.

As a matter of fact, a hot goalie doesn’t give a damn about you, your mama, your papa, your friends, your puppy, your significant other, or your sweet abuelita that just made fresh plantains for you to devour.

No. Your ability to flourish can and will be deterred by a hot goalie, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

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